


Black Holes and Revelations

by afrocurl



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-28
Updated: 2007-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-06 20:47:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone doesn't like Veronica and it shows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Holes and Revelations

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2007 for a challenge at vm-library, for the "Somone's Watching You" challenge. Total and complete crack, just as a warning.

_I’m tired of spending all my time alone in this damned hotel room. He’s never home anymore—always off with_ her _doing something that only young couples do. Gag me!_

_For all that it’s worth, I think he should spend more time looking at me. So, I don’t have the same set of curves as she does, but_ I _think I’m attractive all the same. I’m far easier to hold that’s for sure—I don’t wiggle away when he reaches for me, of that am for sure. That’s just the impression I get from the muddled sounds that come from him and the rustle of another person around the suite._

_There’s a click coming from the front door, and that only means he’s back!_

“Far away from my memoriessssssssssssssss of the people who care if I live or dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.” _Fuck. He’s singing again. This_ can’t _be a good sign. I swear this shit happens every time he comes back here now, and it’s never going to change. He’s so damn whipped. What the fuck did she do to him anyway? He was so much happier when he was playing with someone else’s heart, I swear. That Hannah chick—his personality lit up the fucking room when he came back from the Carnival._ Those were the days.

“That’s great, Logan. I know you really liked the Muse show, but do you have to sing that song at the top of your lungs? I’m sure the other guests up here will complain.” _Even better, the bitch is with him. My night just got so much worse. Can’t he just come back drunk from the show alone? No, of course not, he can’t risk the DUI, especially after the murder charges and all of that shit after graduation._

“You mean, you didn’t like that song, ‘Ronica? I thought it was all about us and our fucked up friends.” _Silence is a good thing at this point, I think. He should know she won’t answer that question._

“Right, Logan, but that doesn’t mean that I want to hear you sing it. Matt Bellamy is much better than you.” _Guess I was wrong. Tonight she has to care. She’s shuffling somewhere, I think, probably the couch. This is just fan-fucking-tastic. I have to deal with him being surly and her being heroic. He damn well needs a new girlfriend, I swear. All she ever does is take care of his drunk ass hoping it will lead to something for her or show up looking for sex—it’s all the same to me at this point. She doesn’t fucking listen to him when he’s drunk—just patronizes him and hopes to get to bed before he says anything too sappy._

“I thought you liked it when I sang to you?” _Why the Hell must he whine when he’s drunk? This is him at his worst, and it happens more than I care to remember. Of course, if she didn’t fucking let him get away with this shit, I’d be happier. Tell him to stop, Veronica. For your sake, and well, for mine._

“No, I do. I just haven’t had much crooning from you recently. Change and I don’t go well together, remember?”

_Unless you count moving in on_ my _guy as some welcome change in your life, Veronica? That seems to be an easy change for you. Wasn’t it earlier this year that you left his ass at Prom?_

“How could I forget? I don’t want to see the return of a steely Veronica Mars. But think about it, that Muse song really does describe our lives. I mean, how much of the last two years can be related to that song?” _He’s always so damn articulate when he’s drunk—this doesn’t work well for me. I need him to be less honest with this bitch and just drop her like she did to him so many times last year. Good thing he talks while he gets ready every morning._

“I don’t know. A bit…” _Just get to the damn point, girl. You’re scared that he’s talking about this with so much nonchalance. I know you better than you think. You can’t really blame your boyfriend for that. He talks about you_ all _the time._

“Admit it. It’s more than a bit. But I get that… you don’t want to…. talk about that anymore. Thanks for agreeing to go with me to that show. I needed a good distraction.”

“What? I’m not a good distraction?”

“You are, but not in the same way.” _Now I’m going to be forced to imagine what the hell they are doing now. Not the best way to end my fucking night._

_I still can’t imagine why he doesn’t talk to me more? He used to do it all the time. I was the only one who’d listen as he tried to figure out Aaron’s death, and well, anything with Veronica. Now I’m just the damn household item with_ no _emotional connection. Sucks to be me. Well, since I can’t suck, I could always hope he’d spend more time with me, and then I’d get sucked._

_Of course, the sounds that I hear coming from the other room don’t help this either. It sounds like the two of them are sucking face,_ again _. Hopefully that’s all it is tonight. There’s nothing more that I hate than having to have_ her _use me later on._ Gross!!!

“Logan—I need to go. Dad’s going to be expecting me soon.” _Please, for the love of all that is holy, let her go, Logan. You don’t need to have another bad night with her around, I promise. You know, you’ll wake up in the morning still spooning her, and then she’ll run over here, abuse me, and then leave to make sure that no one knows she’s spent the night. Just STOP now!_

“Stay, please.” _More silence is coming from the other room, and not the good kind. He must be pouting again. Why the Hell is he so desperate when intoxicated?_

_I swear this boy needs to grow a pair of balls when it comes to her. He’s always whining about something to do with her this year. First it was, “she’s accused me of evil,” then it’s “she’s upset that I carry an UNLOADED weapon,” and then at the end, “she danced with me and didn’t want to punch me in the face afterward.” The boy has mood swings that’s for sure. I mean, I can’t even tell you how much I heard him babble on about being Epic, and then listened as his drunk ass called up the other bimbo for a role in the hay._

_The next morning, all I got once the other girl left was how sorry he was about sleeping with her and how he could have run after Veronica to tell her that everything was going to be better between them. But no—he sulked. He spent the day with the curtains drawn and the door to his room closed as the Staff picked up the mess from the party._

_At least that time around, he stopped bitching about her when he needed to complain about Daddy Dearest being the creepy motherfucker that I assume he was (thank the lord for the smallest favor that I never had to meet Aaron.)_

_Now that I’m done complaining about the evils of Veronica Mars and how they relate to the life of Logan Echolls, I can and_ do _pay attention to what’s going on in the room next to me._

_The silence stops, which is_ never _a good sign, and then all I hear is the unzipping of pants._ FUCK!!! _Soft thuds echo through the room, and I realize that she’s probably started to get out of whatever she wore on this date—some stupid jacket that serves no purpose in California and a pair of jeans that are better placed in some rainstorm than a summer in Neptune._

_Next is the sound of muffled laughter and what I’m going to assume is their twisted idea of foreplay. He’s giggling now, as is she, and that’s not that I needed tonight. She_ needs _to go home, LIKE NOW!! I don’t want to listen to this._

“Come on, you can be late.” _Pleading on his part is so unattractive. If_ I _was Veronica, that would be reason enough to kick his ass to the curb._

“You have twenty minutes.” _Oh fuck! He’s going to have to work quickly while drunk. This is going to be funny._

“I think I can handle that.” _I’m just imagining the smirk on his face as he says that. Damn boy and his sexual ego._

_Another zipper buzz rings through the room, followed by the slight girlish giggle. I’m guessing this means that the last signal was Logan’s pants dropping, or maybe hers, not that I really want to think about_ that _. Lord, is she greedy, or maybe she’s just such a prude that Logan has to show how_ interested _he is in her to get anywhere?_

“Logan? What are you doing?”

“You said I had twenty minutes—I’m getting to work.” 

“Oh my….” _Well, if that’s what it takes to really shut her up, should I really hate him for this right now?_

_A low moan combined with a subtle sucking is all I can hear now. Gah. He went from whiny and drunk to horny in the span of twenty minutes._

“That’s it, Veronica.” _How in the Hell can he keep_ that _up while still talking? Of course, I don’t really want an answer to that. Yuck._

“Looogaaaan.” _Well, that’s not something I hear that often._ “Lord…that’s it..right there, please, Logan, right there.”

_Christ! He just has to go and make her come in about five minutes. That show must have gotten her all hot and bothered before the schmoopy drunk Logan emerged._

_Thuds indicate that they’re done. Thank heavens! I didn’t want to have to listen to her come again._

“I…gotta….go.” _No shit, honey. I’m guessing you need to get the “I just came only by the power of my boyfriend’s mouth” look off your face before Daddy sees you. He has to think you’re the paragon of innocence, honesty and virtue after all. Oh—really, what the Hell am I saying? Veronica, from what Logan says, hasn’t been any of those things in_ years. 

“Stay? You can spend more time here. We were out at a concert after all. Your dad knows it’s all sex and drugs after some rock n’ roll.”

“I can’t, Logan. He’s already complaining that he never sees me right now, and school hasn’t even started yet.”

“Just. One. Night.” _I swear this whiny shit he pulls is going to get old fast. They’ve never lasted more than a month together before, so I can’t see how this is going to convince her to stick around much longer._

_There’s a hard click of the front door, and at last we’re alone. Too bad I’m going to imagine him pouting and just standing by the door waiting for her to walk back in._

_Why the fuck can’t he just stop trying to be the_ good boyfriend _\--it’s never really worked in the past._

_Get your shit together, man. Logan’s going to walk in here soon and find some way to mope now that the_ glorious _Veronica Mars has left him alone. Now is not the time to be thinking about the state of his love life, especially because it doesn’t involve me._

_The sound of Logan making his way from the living room into the bedroom is just as noticeable as Veronica’s screams earlier. He’s_ clearly _not in a good mood now. Not that I can really blame him—he did just get left after getting her off._ She’s got _great_ manners, she does.

_As the sounds grow louder when he enters the bathroom, I can’t help but praise to anyone that will listen that I’m not the first thing that comes to his mind. I can’t stand her as is, and having to deal with_ that _is just not acceptable right now._

_He’s padding away from the counter, I think, but really the acoustics in this room fuck up my sense of direction every time._

_Rustling is the next thing I hear, and it sounds as though Logan’s just a_ bit _frustrated._

_Hard grunts follow the rustle and that only means one thing. I swear that girl is a black hole when it comes to figuring out what he needs._

_Let him get off too, you stupid bitch!_

_A small click echoes in the room, and at this point, I’m so fucking glad I can’t see a damn thing. That’s not an image I want, despite how much I think he deserves better than Veronica fucking Mars. Logan needing to masturbate is just too fucking low for him. I mean, I think since I’ve known him, he’s never_ had _to._

“Veeeronica. Come on.”

_I don’t think there’s even been a good way to describe what he’s doing, but I’m only imagining and it’s not pretty. Closed eyes, hand fisting his length, trying to find a mental of Veronica wearing something skin tight and showing off anything her legs and ass, I’m guessing. Since that’s all he’s ever talked about when it comes to what he’d ramble about while getting ready each morning._

“Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrronicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.”

_Fucking Christ! Why the Hell can’t he think of me for something other than hygienic needs? I have feelings, too, Logan._

_Maybe I should take a step back, though, and realize that I’m only Jose, and I don’t get any respect. After he named me after his favorite drink, I get no respect. Just like Rodney fucking Dangerfield._

_I’m just around for basic hygienic needs and I offer no emotional support in his eyes. If only he knew how much I thought of him every day and how much_ I _listen to what he has to say every morning._

_He’s not walking over towards the counter, which means I don’t have to deal with_ her _on me today, but then again, I’d probably be more receptive than she ever is. The shower starts to run, and I can’t argue with wanting to get the feeling of Veronica Mars off me at a moment like this._

_Hopefully the next time she’s over, she won’t use me. There’s no way for me to scream, “Get your fucking hand off my on switch, bitch!” and I certainly can’t tell Logan how much I feel like being run through a dishwasher after she’s around._

_Though, I could hope he just forgets to put me back on my base, and when she needs to “freshen up” after whatever they do, I’m not charged._ No luck for you, Veronica. You can’t get the taste of Logan out of your mouth until you get home now!


End file.
